Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Try to keep some Elements the Same for Children after a Divorce



You can do yourself and your children a huge favor if you are able to keep some elements the same. If possible, one parent should remain in the family home with them. This way they aren’t being uprooted from where they call home and losing their family structure at the same time. Financially though this scenario isn’t always possible and a move is inevitable.

For children who are in school, it is best if you can keep them in that school. Even if you have to move it needs to be in the same school district if possible. At least for the duration of the school year they are in you will want this. If you have a small commute to get them there each day that is fine.

It can be almost impossible for your children to deal with divorce, a new home, and then a new school all at once. They simply can’t deal with all of the emotions associated with all of it at one time. Try to limit as many changes as you can due to the divorce so that your children can hold on to the pieces of stability that are left for them.

It can get tricky where family and friends are involved though. You may feel uncomfortable taking them to their aunt’s house on your ex’s side of the family. Talk opening with family and friends though to find out where everyone is at on things. You don’t want anyone to feel out of place. You also don’t want your children to lose out on such valuable relationships.

If you have family rituals then they should continue. For example if you all watch a movie and each popcorn on Friday nights that should be a part of the plan. While they will miss the other parent joining in, they will adjust to it. They will need that time for family bonding to understand the rest of what they have is still in place.

If your spouse always took the children out for ice cream on Sunday afternoons, they should continue to do so. You have no idea how much children look forward to these various rituals at home. There are plenty of memories involved in them and you don’t want to take all of that away from them due to the divorce. They already have enough on their plate to deal with.

You can also ask them about new traditions and rituals they may want to try. This can be as good of a time as any for some new and fun things to come into their life. These can be memories they make with you and their siblings that aren’t associated with the other parent. They can do the same when they are with that parent as well.

A divorce is very difficult on children so parents have to do their part to make it as easy as possible. Do your very best to keep some elements of their life the same as they were before. It isn’t going to be possible to do so with everything but do what you can. You want your children to be happy and healthy after the divorce. This type of process will help them to heal instead of carrying around open wounds.

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