Friday, April 25, 2014

The 4 A’s of Good Parenting

Parenting is a full-time responsibility of raising a child from birth up until they have reached adulthood. There is no perfect parenting although there is ideal and good parenting. Good parenting is all about relationship, the better your relationship with your child is, the better your chances are in becoming an effective parent.


Being around your child every time he needs you give them thoughts that they are important because they really are. You should dedicate a reasonable amount of time with your child. It is not enough that you are at home all day and think that you are doing well as a parent. When I mention about time, I mean quality time. Bond with your children, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to spend money. You can just watch his favorite TV show together or perhaps watch him as he play his video game. Because what you may not know is that your time spells L-O-V-E for children.


Appreciation is the most powerful drive towards a good behavior. If a child does well, express overwhelming appreciation right away because when we appreciate them, it gives them a sense of worth. Show appreciation even in the simplest things they do. If you ask them to get something, immediately say thank you with a smile and let them feel that they have been a great help. Just like you, your child find ways to impress you that’s why it would be best be pleased about it. The more we appreciate their good deeds, the more motivated they will become in behaving better.


All of us wants to be loved, especially children. They continually find ways for them to be lovable. They are thirsty for your affection that’s why they find ways to catch your attention. You must always remember that love is the foundation of a lasting relationship. So, if you are nuts about good parenting, start by showing oodles of affection because if they don’t get it from you, they will find love somewhere else.


Showing unconditional acceptance provides your child a sense of belonging and security. Accept and be grateful for who he is. You are his parent, his own flesh and blood. If you can’t accept him the way he is, nobody else will.

Good parenting can never be learned anywhere. It is within you. Although books and numerous resources are readily available, but always remember that they are not made to alter your actions as a parent. They only serve as guidelines. Good parenting still lies in your hands.

The most effective parenting styles

Effective parenting technique is a puzzling topic that sometimes burnt out experts, and became a topic of brewing debates. However, developmental psychologists only began to study parenting and its influences on children in the 1920's. Most experts studying the most effective parenting technique rely on the concept of Diana Baumrind's three parenting styles, in which was found the authoritative parenting style to be the most balanced and healthiest.

Parenting can be seen as broad and limitless, when taking into consideration the differences in family values within the context of the norm, religious concepts, and many other ideals that shape the way parents deal with their children. Yet, failure in parenting cannot be solely blamed on specific instances but is seen as a typology of general practices of parents.

So what is the effective parenting technique? As broad as it might sound, authoritative parenting combines parental responsiveness and parental demandingness vis-ŕ-vis the age of a child. Parental responsiveness describes a parent's intent to foster self-regulation, individuality, and self-assertion by being supportive of and adjusting to a child's needs and desires. Parental demandingness relates more to controlling a child's behavior that is seen as inappropriate, and a parent's willingness to enforce gentle disciplinary efforts, and confronting a child who intentionally disobeys or has committed a mistake.

You can do age-specific activities or discipline in order to set limitations but not to a point of taking full control over your child's life. Parents, themselves, need to acknowledge differences in personality styles, ideas, and life perspectives especially when a child has grown into an adolescent.

Other experts, meanwhile, advocate attachment parenting as the effective parenting technique to use on infants. Dr. William Sears and his wife, Martha, were the first to describe attachment parenting as a style that highly demands responsiveness from parents. This style of parenting negates the popular belief of not responding to a baby's cry immediately so as not to spoil him/her. Attachment parenting advocates believe that crying is a baby's instinctive and survival tool, which is their only means of communication to the world.

Both authoritative and attachment parenting are found to be the most effective parenting styles today, with studies showing positive results from children raised with these styles of parenting. Attachment parenting, in particular, advocates emotional closeness between parents and child to promote self-esteem and social competency later in life. Looking closely, these two styles of effective parenting techniques have similarities in terms of responding to children's needs and correcting ill behaviors in order to raise intellectually, emotionally, and socially-competitive individuals.

Baby parenting: love, nurturing, and educating

Motherhood is a totally different experience than we you were single and carefree. Many women take a major curve in lifestyle after childbirth and may sometimes feel inadequate in terms of baby parenting. Baby parenting can be a challenge especially for new mothers who are still coping with the postpartum changes in her body and taking café of the baby.

You can take baby parenting seriously but don't put so much pressure on yourself. Babies will need a lot of your attention, first, because they are still unable to feed, clean, or dress themselves, and that mothers (or guardians) are instrumental so babies will develop on the right tract. This means stimulating your baby in order for him/her to reach his developmental milestones in the areas of cognitive, social, physical, and language.

Unlike parenting older children, baby parenting is physically challenging for many new parents. Broken sleeps are normal since babies up to the 12th month wake up about once or twice in the middle of the night for their feedings.

It is important for you to learn about the monthly development of your baby to know if he/she is on track of normal development. Baby parenting is also emotionally challenging, entertaining, and sometimes frustrating. What is more exciting than seeing your baby roll over for the first time (which babies typically handle by the third or fourth month), take his/her first step, or say his first word? Simultaneously, it can be frustrating to soothe a fussy baby.

From 0 to 6 months, baby parenting may be focused on doing age-appropriate activities that is both entertaining and educational for your baby. You can stimulate your baby's cognitive development by placing images (showing the contrast of the colors black, white, and red) in strategic locations where your baby can easily see them. Studies show that babies within this age range are not able to discern the complex colors of the spectrum, and therefore, only see these three colors. You'll be delighted to see that your baby will actually focus their eyes on these images. Eventually, you're helping expand their attention span. Moreover, it is important to read aloud to your baby 20 minutes every day.

Baby parenting means giving babies the assurance of protection and nurturing, and making sure they develop to their fullest potential. Studies show that babies who felt loved had a higher level of self-esteem, social skills, and intellectual competence. Babies are bundles of joy, and part of your responsibility as parent is to give your baby a safe place to live, proper care, and unconditional love.